12 Days Of Christmas
by LoveLiveLaugh96
Summary: What would Christmas of been like if Victoria had not married Albert?
1. White Christmas

**White Christmas**

 _ **If you cant indulge in a little Vicbourne at Christmas then when can you?! I hope you enjoy it. This is not a historically accurate fan fic (for obvious reasons).**_

Christmas. What a beautiful time of year. Victoria looked over the palace grounds from the window, it was a tradition that every year was becoming bigger and more widespread. The palace was decorated with trees and trimmings. A dance was planned along with a huge dinner party. Victoria also had a selection of public appearances to make over the next few days. But Christmas day itself would be spent with her family and closest friends.

She touched her hand against the window pane, the glass was freezing against her warm skin. As far as her eyes could see was white, the snow laid heavy and thick on the ground, the pond frozen over. The land glistened and sparkled in the morning light. Excitement crept over her as she momentarily remembered her age.

Of course, her royal duties have not been put on hold, but they would be somewhat more joyful under certain company. Then there was her family.

Victoria turned around and walked towards the fire in her chambers. She was not yet dressed, it was early. The staff would not yet be around.  
Sitting on the divan beside the fire Victoria remembered turning her possible suitor Albert down just last week. The choice had not been taken positively. The duchess had lectured her on her duty to marry, how she was failing her country by putting it off. The staff gossiped, her ladies, although they did not confront Victoria had silently disapproved, then of course her Uncle Leopold had taken a rather negative view on it.

Albert had left the palace a few days ago. Victoria had said a cold goodbye after the prince had been incredibly rude and anti-social since she had confessed to him her desire was not to marry him. He had called it a single-minded decision and that her attentions were located elsewhere. Victoria had obviously known what he was implying.

She had yet to tell Lord Melbourne about her rejection of the Prince, he had encouraged her to give him a chance, and reminded her she needed a husband rather than a companion. Truthfully this worried Victoria, he had never really shown any strong inclinations towards her, only hinted his affections towards her, she may well have been reading into them to deeply.

She was aware however that he knew of her feelings towards him. She hoped he would not be annoyed at her for turning down the prince. Victoria hoped he would spend much of his Christmas by her side.

She found herself lost in the thought of him most of the time. Accepting the duty to marry someone whom she did not love purely for the convivence was wrong, she could not bring herself to do it. Yes, she was young, and at times foolish, but her feelings had not changed, and something inside her told her that they never will.

A figure in the corner of her eye caught her attention, turning she saw Lehzen.  
''Good morning Your Majesty'' The woman bowed respectively ''It is still early, why are you out of bed already?''

''I couldn't sleep. There is so much to think about, so much to do, to look forward to'' Victoria felt a bit like a child then, but she did not feel the need to hide her feelings towards her Baroness, the woman had seen Victoria grow up''

''Indeed Majesty'' Lehzen smiled softly towards the young woman, feeling her excitement over these new times ''Are you ready to be dressed?''

''Yes Lehzen, and I wish to go for a walk before breakfast, the snow is divine outside''

The Baroness bowed and went off to send for the dresser.

The snow crunched under her feet as she walked across the covered grounds. The cool winter air hit her lungs, cleansing them. She took a long deep breath. It was bitterly cold outside, but just so beautiful.

''This would make a beautiful painting'' Victoria turned to her ladies, who despite following her did not seem impressed to be outside in the cold. ''Everything is in such fine detail, look at the leaves'' Victoria walked over to a near by tree, the leaves sparkled as the hard frost and snow glittered against the mornings sun.

''It is a beautiful time of year ma'am'' Harriett smiled warmly to the Queen.

The pond was frozen solid, it had been for a few days. Victoria chucked a stone onto the surface and watched it slide across the ice, not even chipping the substance.

''I would love to go riding after breakfast'' She laughed as her dog ran about in the snow, jumping out of the depth and rolling in it. She had not seen him so active in so long. The ladies all laughed as they watched the dog run about for a few minutes.

''I am not sure that is wise ma'am, the snow will get balled up in the horses feet. It will be tough going for them''

''I shall most likely stick to the trails that will be cleared for visitors, and I will be with Lord Melbourne anyway'' Victoria observed Emma's face as it fell slightly.

''He is coming to the palace today, he said he would return this week, I have much to discuss with him'' Victoria walked back to her ladies, passing them she headed towards the house.

Lord Melbourne swung his leg over his horses neck, sliding down from the saddle he handed the reins over to the groom waiting to collect the animal. It had been a very cold ride to the palace today. But he had been so busy working that it was nice to get out in the air for a change.

A sudden pang of anxiety rolled through him as he started up the steps to the double doors. He had not seen Victoria for a few days. He wondered if much had changed. If she had anything major to tell him, he had gone away mainly to give the Monarch some time alone with the Prince. It was not what he wanted. But he had to remain impartial as he knew change was inevitable. Still he found himself slightly joyous at the idea of spending time with her.

He paused for a moment once he entered the palace. The place had been decorated beautifully. The trees trimmed up to perfection. He remembered how Victoria had spoken of her excitement at the ever-growing tradition.

Walking down the corridor he observed how the lights of the candles shimmered against the decorations on the mirrors and trees. The palace seemed so much lighter, warmer.

Lord Melbourne found himself growing slightly excited to see the young woman. His heart had accelerated as he approached the doors. The footman was about to announce his arrival.

''Please do not. I wish to surprise the Queen'' Lord Melbourne spoke quietly to the younger man who smiled and opened the door for the Priminister.

Victoria was facing the window once more, she heard the doors open. It was the right time, he was almost always on time, she kept her face towards the window, biting her lip and she fought back a childish smile. She closed her eyes as her ears homed on his footsteps, drawing closer to the window in which she stood.

''Your Majesty'' Lord Melbourne spoke softly, quietly, with a warm and almost entrancing tone. Victoria spun around at his voice, unable to hold back her smile.

''Lord M'' Her face beamed with happiness. ''I have missed you terribly, I do not think you appreciate such company until it is gone'' Her tone was full of love and kindness towards him. The young Monarch stepped closer to him, closer than what she usually did, before allowing him to bend down and kiss her hand.

''I feel the same ma'am, I have a rather diverse group of friends, but not one of them can compare to the conversations we share''

His gentlemen like manner was a silent relief for the young Queen. Albert had been so rude and cold to her in the last few days, and her family less than understanding, it was then that it occurred to her just how much she had missed him.

Victoria tilted her head slightly, eyeing his expression carefully, not a word was spoken for a minute, maybe even two. ''I never find I can tell what your thinking Lord Melbourne, you have an incredible talent of hiding your inner thoughts''

''One must when in politics ma'am, what a world it would be if your own opinion was accepted by everyone'' He lifted his eye brows a little and smiled, his hands clasped behind his back. It was not an uncomfortable silence, but he knew she was preparing to say something. ''Is there something bothering you ma'am?''

Victoria's face changed. ''How did you know?'' A slight smile appearing on her lips ''You see, you really need to teach me the art of not showing my thought process, if you can read it then everyone at my public appearances will to''

''I don't think so ma'am, I know you rather well, we spend a lot of time together, that's all''

''There are many things you could teach me Lord M, but im not sure if you ever will''

He didn't know how to answer that one. ''Anyway'' Her voice chipped up again ''Come and sit down, I do have something to tell you'' Victoria walked past the Priminister, she was unaware how close she was to the man until she had to step to the side of him to move around him. Victoria sat down on the divan placed beside the roaring fire. ''Sit'' She patted the space next to her.

''Now'' Victoria spoke with a little more caution ''You have to promise you will not be cross'' Her statement confused him. He could tell she was weary of what she was about to say, this concerned him.

''I could never be cross with you ma'am, whatever it is I am sure it cannot be that bad''

''Try telling that to my family, my ladies, and pretty much my entire household staff for that matter'' Her mood had changed, the happy younger woman was gone, and before him sat The Queen, burdened with something she clearly wanted to off load.

He could not say any more, he sat patiently and quietly as she tried to correctly line up the words in her head. ''You obviously know about Prince Albert'' Victoria started.

Lord Melbourne's stomach dropped ''Yes''

''I remember you telling me that you thought I would be better off with a husband, as companionship would not suit me, well truthfully it is all I have thought about since. I do not want to disappoint my family, or my public. But most of all I cannot disappoint myself'' She searched his face for any sign of expression. The light of the fire was shining on his figure, his age showing slightly.

''Marriage isn't about convivence ma'am, it is about spending your life with someone who you love, to cherish that person and enjoy their company. There is no responsibility for most people there. However for you it is slightly different because your family and public expect you to produce an-''

''An heir'' She finished his sentence ''I know, that's all I keep hearing'' Victoria paused. ''Prince Albert had many great qualities, and I felt he would have been a fine suitor for my hand''

This time Victoria saw a hint of pain on his face. And that in turn hurt her. ''But he had many faults, he was rude, controlling, selfish, single minded, wooden and un sociable. Yes, he had a good education and some of his beliefs I agreed with but that wasn't a good enough basis for a marriage for me. So, I sent him away, he did not take it well''

Lord Melbourne could not ignore the wash of relief going through his body, but he could not show Victoria that, for she had proposed to him before and he had turned her down, it would not be fair. But to know that she refused him of her own accord meant that he had no part in this decision, for he was not around. She didn't love him. ''You did not desire the prince'' He replied quietly

''No, not at all. My desires are still somewhat elsewhere'' Victoria fiddled with her hands rested on her lap, her eyes would not reach his.

''I see'' Lord Melbourne replied calmly ''Why did you think I would be cross?''

Victoria looked at him, a tinge of relief rushed through her when he had not pushed her deeper into her chosen topic of conversation. ''Everybody else is''

''I am not everybody else''

''I did not love him'' Victoria looked into his eyes, he could not tear his gaze away from hers. The noises stilled around him for a second as he found himself locked in her eye contact. She was close to him, if he leant in just a little further, they would touch each other. It took every ounce of his strength not to.

''You have done the right thing. There is no point in marriage if it is not for love'' He tore his gaze away from her. ''I would never be cross at you for putting your own personal feelings first. It is what any woman would do, why should you be any different''

She smiled as he stared into the fire. He treated her as a woman as well as a Queen. The balance at times was a fine one. But as with many other things he handled it well.

''Did you enjoy having a few days away from the palace'' Victoria asked tentatively

''I would much rather be at the palace than at the house'' He turned his gaze back to her and smirked a little.

''I am glad to hear that. I worry that I can be a little forceful sometimes''

''You have good reason to be. You are the Queen. It is one of the many things I admire about you'' He tilted his head before his eyes found the boxes stacked on the table. ''We should probably get those done''

Victoria followed his train of sight ''Yes'' She stood, and Lord Melbourne followed her ''It has been most tedious without you, some of the paperwork still confuses me''

''You never stop learning ma'am'' He held the chair out for her as she sat before seating himself around the other side of the table.

The boxes turned out to not be as tedious as Victoria had expected. The couple spent the next couple of hours sifting through the paperwork and signing, the talks they shared together brought an air of happiness to the pair. Victoria had not forgotten how happy he made her.

A laugh escaped her catching the Priminister's attention. ''Something amusing you ma'am?''  
Victoria looked at him ''I have missed your company'' She admitted steadily

''I have missed yours to. I see you have kept the household busy since I have been gone''

Her eyes sparkled ''Yes!'' She stood quickly causing Lord Melbourne to stand ''Do you like it?''

''It is most enchanting ma'am, your guests will find it as beautiful as I did''

''Well I hope so, but I do hope you will join me over the coming days. I wish for you to be at all my public appearances and at the palace of course'' Victoria stopped herself ''That is if you want of course, it isn't a demand''

He smiled warmly at her and suddenly felt touched that this remarkable young woman, with so many people to think about had given him the time of day. She wanted his company this Christmas, and after all he had nobody else to spend the time with _. Not that you would_ He reminded himself quickly. ''I would be honoured ma'am''

''Im so pleased Lord M, I want this Christmas to be just perfect... just... Magical'' She walked over to the window once more, the recent snow storm had eased. The air was still, and the clouds had drifted away. ''Should we go for a ride?''

''Now?'' He replied slightly surprised before walking towards the window where she stood. ''The snow is heavy, its bitterly cold out there''

Victoria felt the warmth of his body from behind her as he looked over her shoulder down at the white grounds. ''I was out there this morning. My ladies were less than impressed. But I did say I wanted to ride out with you later, it has been rather dull riding alone''

''Have you not had any company to ride out with?'' Lord Melbourne asked with concern.

Victoria turned around, she found herself almost pinned to the window as she looked up at him. The priminister quickly remembered his place and stepped aside, but revelled in the way the Queen did not walk away from him.

''Nobody is interesting enough'' Victoria remarked before walking towards the doors and calling for one of the servants. ''I wish to ride out. Could you ask my dressers to come and change me'' Victoria said clearly to the slightly surprised servant who bowed and went off to give the orders.

He found it hard to look anywhere else as the attractive young woman walked down the corridor to greet him. She was wearing a deep red riding outfit with a white trim around her neck and sleeves. Her hat held a small veil behind her hair. She pulled on her black riding gloves as she approached him.

Victoria smiled warmly at the priminister who placed his hat on and began to put on his riding gloves.

Victoria left the ladies in the corridor as she joined Lord Melbourne's side and they walked towards the doors where outside their horses stood waiting.

''This is a beautiful time of year'' Victoria broke through the sound of the horses crushing through the snow with their feet. ''Everything shimmers and sparkles in the light'' She turned to see the Priminister watching her intently, a smile crossed her face as she observed his sated expression. ''What is it?''

He turned his attention back to his horse, realising he was staring ''You observe and appreciate such fine detail ma'am, many of us go by without looking at such things. But you seem to notice things so clearly, it is a gift that many of us do not have''

''I have learnt much of that from you Lord M'' Victoria replied matter of factly ''I was so shut away at Kensington, and since I have spent much of my time outside in your company I feel expressing the detail comes down to you. We both hold a love for nature''

He hummed in agreement, although he knew he couldn't take all the credit. ''What are your public appearances for Christmas?''

''I have to make a public appearance at the clock tower, marking its first year in London. I have planned to visit a hospital which holds some of our soldiers from war, the opera of course, and welcoming a new ship. Plus, I will have a speech announced on Christmas eve''

He was surprised at her list ''You are very busy then'' Her eyes found his.

''It is not so bad, I like going around London. Nothing is to much trouble at Christmas'' Victoria reminded him. ''I hope to see you every day over the Christmas period. You are one of my closest and dearest friends. I would like you with me. Especially at the public appearances'' She added quickly.

''I am not sure if the house will be able to cope if I am away for that long'' He reminded her.

''We will have to work around that then. Please Lord M. I have missed our company. I do not wish to spend Christmas solely alone''

''Your invitation is very kind ma'am, I would be honoured to spend Christmas with you''

''Good'' Victoria replied warmly, although she could feel her stomach flutter with excitement.

 _ **You never know, it is Christmas after all. Will update over the next couple of weeks. Please leave a comment if you get a moment.**_


	2. Ships And Snow

**Ships And Snow**

 _ **First of all, I would like to say a huge thankyou to the people that have read, reviewed and followed this. I wasn't expecting much of a response as the fics (for this couple) have slowed down as time has gone on so was half in mind not to post anything! Anyway, enjoy!**_

Victoria's Dressers laced up her deep blue bonnet and put on her coat. The palace was bustling with life as the days drew closer to Christmas.  
She looked at herself in the mirror. The dark blue outfit brought out her complexion and would stand out against the white background of the snow-covered landscape outside.

Victoria of course had learnt nearly everything regarding style from her dear dresser Mrs Skerrett. It had been a learning curve moving here. But she was enjoying every second of it.

''Lord Melbourne is here'' Victoria's Baroness said from the doorways. Mrs Skerrett bowed and made their way out of the room. ''Your ladies are outside your majesty''

Victoria smiled to her Baroness and walked out of her chambers into the corridor, where sure enough Lord Melbourne stood waiting for her.

The Priminister struggled sometimes to hide his admiration for her, he had always admired her tenacity and attitude towards being Queen, and that was acceptable. But admiring her beauty was not. Especially, in front of the Queen's ladies.

''Lord Melbourne'' Her voice was soft. ''Are you looking forward to welcoming the ship into the harbour?'' Victoria smiled at her friend who turned his attention back to what he was meant to be doing.

''Yes Ma'am, very much so. London is very busy today, I suspect there will be a big crowd to welcome the ship in'' He took out his pocket watch and looked at it. ''We should get going''

''Indeed, I shall travel with you'' Victoria walked past the Priminister before he had a chance to say anything.

''I don't think that's wise ma'am, the carriage is covered, it will be classed as misconstrued'' Victoria's ladies followed the Queen and stopped as she turned around.

''Nonsense Lord M, it is not down to what people think, it is what I think that matters''

''Never the less I would prefer if you travelled with your ladies'' Lord Melbourne stood his ground. He would not have her name called, or wrote about in the papers, not at this time of year, not when she was so happy. ''I shall be there to meet you at the other end'' He smiled warmly at Victoria as her face changed and she regretfully understood his position.

Victoria turned to properly face him. ''Very well Lord M, I shall travel with my ladies'' She smiled back to the priminister before turning and walking to the doors. Lord Melbourne followed and watched as her body and dress swayed down the corridor.

======================================================================================================

The carriages pulled up at the harbour. The docks were flooded with people, the snow was no longer white and clean down here, the salty air and tramping feet had turned the substance to a brown slop. People called and chided as Lord Melbourne stepped out of his carriage and made his way to the Queen's.

As he opened the door Victoria smiled at him before turning her attention to the crowds that stood waiting for her. He held out his hand which she took kindly as he helped her down to the ground.

The ground was slippery, and given she was in her public attire he imagined she was wearing heels. Bending down close to her cheek he spoke quietly ''Be careful of the ice ma'am''

Victoria's heart skipped a beat. It was obvious that he was doing this out of concern to her health and safety however feeling his warm breath on her skin, how close he was to her caused her entire body to freeze for a moment, and as he pulled away slowly and carefully stepped aside she regained her composure.

The crowds cheered and chanted as Victoria made her way over to the dock in which the huge ship was waiting. The flags flew high up in the wind as she observed the modern marvel. Her eyes moved to the captain who stood in his uniform beside the docking ramp. Victoria walked towards him and the captain dropped down on one knee and kissed Victoria's offered hand.

''Your Majesty, I am deeply humbled that you have decided to visit our ship at such a busy time of year. It would be my honour to show you around'' The captain was probably a little younger than Lord Melbourne, but Victoria could see pride he carried at the marvel that had been created.

''The pleasure is all mine'' Victoria smiled warmly to the man and turned to Lord Melbourne who stood quietly behind. ''You are coming, aren't you?'' Victoria questioned the Priminister.

''Please do Priminister'' The captain chided. ''I have been a fan of your choices, you have steered the Queen in the right direction. I applaud you sir'' The captain smiled sincerely.

Lord Melbourne found himself lost for words. ''Why thank-you sir'' He smiled. ''I shall be honoured to join the Queen on this beautiful ship''

The couple left the crowds waiting on the docks as they explored the ship. Everything was designed with such beauty. The ship was solid, it did not feel as though it was on water. Victoria walked around the chambers below, the kitchen, the captains chamber and control room. Her eyes absorbed everything, all the finer details, the marvellous wood work, the stunning designs.

''How long did this take to build?'' Victoria turned to the captain

''3 and a half years Your Majesty, it was a work of labour and love. But to sail its first journey was a privilege''

''I suspect it travels very well'' Victoria asked

''Oh yes, the sea may as well be a piece of paper, even in the rough weathers the boat holds its own with remarkable balance'' The captain beamed with pride as he watched the young woman walk towards the hem of the boat.

The main part of the boat was open and flat, the railings around the outside were decorated for her arrival, the space was huge, it would have fitted her horses and carriages in without a problem. The sheer size of the ship astonished the young woman.

''What do you think Lord M?'' Victoria turned to the priminister who was also admiring the ship.

''It is a work of wonder ma'am, this has been a big step forward for our country. We are without a doubt becoming stronger'' He smiled towards the young woman.

''I am glad you came Lord M'' Victoria smiled at him. She stepped closer towards him, he saw her contemplating what to say next, but instead she stayed silent and stepped away, walking towards the hem of the ship.

Lord Melbourne stayed away from the edge as he heard the crowds below roar with cheering. He knew better than to stand beside the Monarch at such an occasion.

Once they made their way back down to the docks Victoria stood at the bottom of the wooden ramp. Everyone drew silent as she placed her hands together at her waist and began to speak.

''There is no better time to come together then at Christmas to marvel in the creations that we as a country have created this year. With each year that passes we grow bigger, stronger, as we stand together more our views and opinions are expressed to our neighbours proving that we will not back down, we may be small, but we are mighty, and creations like this'' Victoria lifted her arm to the ship that sat beside her ''Show that. It is my great honour and privilege to welcome this ship into our harbours. May it spend many years travelling the seas and showing off our remarkable country to the world''

The crowd cheered and chanted once more, kids screaming and laughing, adults clapping and shouting. Lord Melbourne stood and watched in admiration as the young Monarch stood cool and calmly watching the public show their admiration for her. Victoria turned her head slightly to the Priminister and saw him smile and nod his head, he began clapping quietly beside her as she smiled and laughed, facing back to the crowd.

Victoria suddenly felt very proud to be Queen, the people warmed her heart to support her in such ways, of course, there were times when they didn't always admire her. Some decision she made had caused them to question her, but that was what she loved about England. Its passion was never damned its opinion was never squashed.

======================================================================================================

Victoria walked into the warm Palace, the corridors lit up with the Christmas decorations. She shed her gloves from her hands and began to untie the bow under her chin, releasing her bonnet. The darkness had fell for another night, the freezing air outside predicted yet more snow.

''Are you going to join us for some drinks Lord M? I feel it is much needed after today''

''Lead the way ma'am'' The Priminister replied.

The group of ladies, along with Emma Portman's Husband, Uncle Leopold and Lord Melbourne all sat in a large room, a tree in the corner was decorated well and the candle light and fire set a warm glow around the room. The group had submerged in a game of cards and drinking.

Victoria's eyes had sparkled as she told her friends and family about the ship, explaining every detail and the sheer size of it. How the public had cheered her after her speech.

''It was wonderful, the captain was so proud, wasn't he Lord M?'' Victoria turned to the older man who sat beside her.

''Yes, he called the ship a milestone in British history'' Melbourne felt warm from the glasses of whiskey he had consumed. The group continued to chat until people began to retire.

''Good Night Drina'' The Duchess spoke up after her Uncle Leopold had left for the evening.

''Good Night Mama'' Victoria watched the older woman exit the room. ''I am going to show Lord M the painting I did yesterday, then I shall retire. I shall see you in the morning'' Victoria nodded to the ladies as they stood with the Queen.

Lord Melbourne caught Emma's gaze before the group left the room, leaving the 2 together, alone. Victoria walked over to the fireplace, immediately feeling the heat it was providing. ''I hope you don't mind Lord M''

''Not at all ma'am'' The priminister felt the warming feeling in the pit of his stomach, he wanted to blame it on the drink, but he had not had enough of it.

The couple walked into the Queen's chambers where a painting stood on a stand. ''I left it here to dry off, it was still a little tacky last night. Victoria had drawn a picture of one of the Christmas trees in the palace.

She observed his reactions, like a student waiting for approval from a teacher. ''Its one from the ball room, it's the biggest one in the palace. I had it put up a few days ago, it looks better in real life'' The young woman bit her lip as she watched his eyes scan over the painting in silence.

''It is very beautiful ma'am, you have a keen eye for detail''

''You think so?'' Victoria stepped closer, causing the priminister to turn his attention onto her.

''I do, and I also remember telling you that when I first met you''

A flash back to their first meeting shot through Victoria's head. ''Everybody was nice to me then, everybody wanted me to employ them. I did not know who to trust for a while'' She admitted sorrowfully

''But it has paid off, you have chosen wisely'' He smirked as she swatted his arm. He was being playful with her, he knew that he shouldn't, but they were alone, and the drink was fuelling his desire for her.

Victoria went and sat down on the divan beside the fire. Once again enjoying the warmth it emitted. The soft glow of the light danced off her face as she reached back and un pinned her hair, allowing the braid to fall behind her back.

''Come and sit down'' She remarked as he stood beside the divan.

''I should really be heading back home'' The priminister remarked slowly as he seated himself beside the Queen. ''There is a vote at the house first thing tomorrow and I need to prepare for it''

''Do you ever just sit down in an evening and not do anything?'' She eyed him carefully

''Now that is a difficult question. I find keeping busy distracts the mind. I do not sleep much'' He admitted ''It would be rather boring just sitting around all night''

''I feel like that sometimes, but I do not have much choice, if I am awake at night I cannot do much, the household usually put me back to bed''

''Troubles that happen during the day should not affect us at night. That's what someone told me once'' He half laughed at the phrase and Victoria suddenly felt an overwhelming compassion for the man.

''I feel sorry for you Lord M, you are often alone at home, it must be difficult sometimes''

''I am rarely at home now'' he pointed out ''And when I am at home there is much to do''

''Maybe I shall visit you one evening, and we can spend the evening together in your home, you keep me company enough, I could at least do the same''

''You already do ma'am'' Victoria looked at him ''You are the best company anybody could ever wish for''

''You flatter me Lord M'' He saw the blush creeping up her face and tried to suppress the need to see how far it would travel.

''The company of someone is not a convivence, it does not have to be a relationship or marriage, company is companionship, it is enjoying another person's presence, no matter where you are or what your doing. It provides a solace, a peace in someone. I have found that in you, which is something I thought I would never find again''

Her eyes sparkled in the light of the fire, but he was sure they were from unshed tears. She carried a great deal of stress in her duties, he did not want her to feel like she had to carry his as well.

But still, right there, right now he was trapped in her gaze, nobody watching, nobody listening, and nobody waiting. It was just the two of them. He noticed her move her head in closer towards his, she leant into his frame slowly, as if he may get spooked and bolt.

He had drunk a good deal, and although he wasn't drunk he was struggling to hold onto his composure, this remarkably beautiful woman sat beside him, she still cared for him, she had turned down a prince for him. Could he turn her away again? The selfish part of him was saying no, he would be a fool to turn her away again, he would most likely end up alone if he destroyed her heart again. And that would break him.

No, he would not give her false hope. But he also refused to push her away.

''I can see it'' Victoria whispered in the silence

''See what ma'am'' He realised his voice had dropped down an octave.

''What your thinking'' Victoria smiled at him, her eyes never left his, not for a moment.

The Priminister slowly lifted his hand, tracing his hand over her own for a moment before bringing It up to her face. He cradled her neck and jaw with his fingers. Her skin was as soft as the finest silk. He felt his heart skip a beat as he contemplated kissing her. He wondered how her lips would feel, how her body would react. He felt she was asking for it, although he wasn't sure if she knew what she was asking for.

He traced his fingers over her cheek, as she leant into his touch and her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds. He leant in then and Victoria felt his lips press to her cheek.  
He pulled away a little, their faces still inches apart.

With all the strength he could find through the fog of the whisky he pulled his hand away and sat up a little straighter.

''It has been a wonderful evening'' He paused and noticed how she hung on his words. ''In the best company'' He nodded his head slowly and smiled.

''Thank you, Lord M,'' Victoria clasped his hands in her own for a second. Before releasing them and standing. ''I look forward to tomorrow''

The priminister bowed and left the room. Walking down the corridor he tried to steady his breathing before seeking his carriage.

 _ **Well, there you go! I always worry that I don't do things like this justice! Especially with the royal duties and the speeches. Please leave a review, it will only help me for the next chapter! Thanks for reading!**_


	3. Mistletoe And Wine

**Mistletoe And Wine**

Victoria's eyes fluttered open. The bright morning sunshine dancing off the white snow casting a bright light through the thin curtains on her windows. Within seconds the young woman was sitting up in bed, remembering what she had planned for today.

Each day that drew closer seemed to bring more happiness and excitement than the day before. But of course, there was one other thing playing on her mind.  
She held her hand to her cheek, the cheek that he had kissed. His lips so soft and delicate on her skin, as if she might break if he properly touched her. She felt the compassion and emotion in his actions.

Victoria had been heart broken when he turned her away, at the time she did not fully understand why. The words of her mother rang through her ears every time she thought of that awful day ' _No man would give you up Drina, unless he felt it was his duty'_. The thought of it at the time did not ease her broken heart. For he had diverted her affections by using his late wife as an excuse.

It was not until Emma noted the dedication he had put into pleasing Victoria, in the effort to grow flowers and always trying his best to steer her in the right direction that began to sway her mind. It was the dance, however, that convinced her. He had used Queen Elizabeth's companions as a referral to their current relationship, and why it could not go any further even if he wanted it to. And although time had passed, the princes had arrived and left without success, and she had upset her family with the decision not to marry Albert, Victoria couldn't forget that day, that day that she realised he may have cared for her.

She refused to let this lie, after all why should she? He may be older, and he may not have the best reputation in the eyes of others, but he had never gone behind her back, he had never undermined her, he had never failed to make her smile and lift her spirits through the difficult times she had faced. It was not a friendship she shared with anyone else. Because it was more than a friendship. Even if he didn't realise that yet.

A smile crept on her lips as she devised a plan in her head. He was spending at least a few hours with her each day now, and with the dance and dinner party drawing closer now was as better time as ever to see just how far this could go.

A pang of anticipation with a hint of anxiety rushed through her. A shiver ran up her back as she realised this could all go horribly wrong. But if she didn't try would she ever really know, and if she didn't know, would she ever be able to move on. People did implore her tenacity after all…

==================================================================================

Victoria was walking down the corridor. Her dog Dash trotting along beside her. She saw the staff carrying a small bunch of green, covered with little white balls hanging at the end. It was a strange looking plant.

''Whatever is that?'' Victoria spoke up as the staff bowed. The younger man holding the plant went silent, unsure on his place to speak or not.

''It is Mistletoe ma'am'' Victoria turned around to see Mrs Skerrett walking down the corridor with one of her dresses. The young woman bowed.

''What a beautiful name, why is it in the palace?'' Victoria took a bunch of the plant from the young man and handled it carefully.

''It is a plant that comes out around Christmas time. There is a saying behind it, but not many people believe it. But seeing as it's a Christmas flower it is often used to decorate the houses''

Mrs Skerrett watched the Queen with interest as she handled the plant. ''What is the saying?'' Victoria looked at the other woman.

Mrs Skerrett smiled and looked at the floor for a second ''It is said that if you stand underneath the plant then the person standing with you must kiss you. But it is not a common tradition, so many people refuse to take part''

''Thankyou'' Victoria beamed at the young woman who smiled in return, bowed and walked off with the dress she was carrying. ''I shall keep this plant'' Victoria kept hold of the little bunch of mistletoe and continued to walk down the corridor.

==================================================================================

The marked carriages pulled up outside the House. Beside the house stood, very tall and proud was another creation England had made in the last year. Victoria tilted her head to see the top of the tall clock tower. The face sitting at the peak.

The house looked absolutely tiny compared to the clock. Victoria had been keen to watch the build right up until it was finished, and she had seen the ideas for a bell to be added, so that the clock chimed at a certain hour, however this was not able to be executed yet.

The young Monarch scanned the crowd of party members which had flocked around the house to her left, and the crowds of public to the right. But she was only really looking for one person. And then, just at the edge of the crowd, stood the man she was seeking. He smiled warmly at the young Queen and looked up at the tower himself. Victoria made a note to find him and invite him to dine with them tonight.

Stepping up onto a small platform, her ladies standing slightly to the right of her, Victoria faced out onto the crowd. Her hands cupped together at her waist in the velvet green dress and coat she wore. 

''What a year it has been for our country. We have succeeded in creating this magnificent work of art. Which has captured the attention of our fellow countries, and will no doubt make a huge statement in this world in the years to come. Standing tall and proud, just like our country. The challenges we face will keep coming, and changes will happen. But as we stand together, and marvel at the work we have created, England will continue to be a strong country who shall not be ignored.''

The sound of clapping and cheering ripped through the crowd with great power. Victoria stood still on the platform for a moment, watching the crowds before stepping down and making her way back over to the carriages.

The footman held open the door for Victoria who paused at the step and turned around. Her ladies who stood behind her watched her.  
''Are you looking for someone in-particular Your Majesty?'' Harriett asked

''I need to speak to Lord Melbourne, I saw him earlier but cannot seem to find him now''

''He may have gone back into the house, there is a debate going on later'' Emma spoke up.

Victoria turned to look at Emma, slight disappointment covered her face as she realised she may not see him today.

''Maybe you should write to him, have it delivered today. He will receive it before the afternoon is out'' Emma suggested.

''Thankyou Emma, I shall do that'' Victoria stepped into the carriage, her ladies followed.

==================================================================================

Lord Melbourne folded the letter up and placed it in his jacket pocket, looking at himself in the mirror he straightened his cravat and began walking towards the doors in which the Queen was waiting.

The doorman announced his arrival as he entered the room. Victoria stood to welcome the Priminister who walked over to her and bowed, kissing her bare hand gently.

''I hope you have had a good day Lord M, im glad you could make it to dinner tonight'' Victoria seated herself and encouraged the Priminister to do the same, he looked tired, she observed. 

''It has been a long day, not entirely sure about good. Parliament can be straining at times. I must admit it was a welcome change for everybody to be stood quiet earlier. That so rarely happens in the house now a days'' Victoria smiled as she recalled the speech.

''Did you think it was good enough? The speech? I fear I will struggle with what to say as the days go on, I have so many speeches to give''

''Your very clever ma'am, im sure you will come up with something different every time. You had everybody's full attention today'' he reassured her.

''I came across something today'' Victoria remarked. Trying very hard to keep the butterflies in her stomach from showing on her face.

''What is that?'' His interest peaked slightly.

Victoria stood up, causing the Priminister to do the same. She walked over to a cabinet, where there were two drinks laid out he noticed. Bending down she opened the cabinet and picked out a plant. He felt a slight rise of anticipation as he realised what it was.

Victoria bit her lip before turning to face him. With the flower in her hand she walked back over to the Priminister who seated himself with her once again. He faced her as she looked at him.

''What is this Lord M?'' The staff have put it up nearly everywhere in the palace?''

''Maybe you should ask the staff that one ma'am, or perhaps your ladies'' He tried to push the conversation onto somebody else.

''Im asking you? So, you know what it is?'' Victoria pushed

''Indeed'' He stated

Victoria tilted her head and smiled ''Well?''

Lord Melbourne shifted awkwardly in his chair. Rubbing his palms on his legs as he tried to find the right words. Victoria ever so slightly enjoyed seeing him unravel a little.

''It is a flower that comes out around this time of year, the saying behind it is that if it is held above two people, or two people are stood underneath it then they should kiss one another''

''I see'' Victoria couldn't hide the blush on her face. ''Like now?''

Lord Melbourne coughed a little. ''No, you are holding it. You're not standing underneath it, and you are not with anybody''

''Right'' Victoria remarked slowly ''Thankyou Lord M, I shall be careful where I stand, especially at the dance''

The older man nodded his head slightly, Victoria walked back over to the cabinet and placed the flower back into the cupboard'' 

The couple continued to diverse in conversation as the time slipped by. Victoria felt his mood change and his expression soften as they talked and laughed about different things.

''I would like to ride out tomorrow morning, before the boxes. The dance will not require much attention, I know the staff will look after everything''

''I am sure we can do something ma'am, if the weather is not to bad''

''The lake is frozen over. Mama thinks I should go skating'' Victoria scoffed a little 

''Skating is dangerous, I personally do not like the idea, I like my feet on firm ground'' Lord Melbourne admitted, before taking another sip of the drink he had been given.

''I agree whole heartedly'' Victoria hummed

The knock on the door followed by the Baroness entering told the couple it was time for dinner.

The table was cheerful and welcoming as the group all sat around the large table for their meal. The food was exquisite, and everyone seemed to enjoy what the Royal Chef had created tonight. Lord Melbourne was thankful for the meal to soak up some of the brandy that he had consumed beforehand.

Victoria kept stealing glances with him over the course of the dinner. Glances that did not go unnoticed by others, but she made sure to talk with everyone at the table, whatever the dull topic was at this time.

As the Queen finished her meal everybody else finished to. She stood shortly after, excusing herself along with Lord Melbourne and her ladies.

Once out in the corridor Victoria dismissed her ladies, leaving the couple alone once more.

''I must show you the ball room. It is just divine, especially with the tree''

''I must confess I do not think it is wise going off alone so much ma'am, people will talk'' 

''I am showing you the ball room Lord M'' Victoria reassured him gently ''Come on'' And before he had a chance to say anything else the Queen was walking down the corridor towards the room.

=================================================================================

Victoria walked into the room first. Turning around to observe the Priminister's surprised expression. He had marvelled in the way the corridors looked and the trees, but this truly was the centrepiece in the palace. The huge pine tree was covered in decoration. The light of the candles shimmered off the shining trees and holly which had been placed over the painting frames. Mistletoe hung from the ceiling along with colourful decorations. Shining in the warm light of the room.

''It is very beautiful ma'am, I can see why you wanted to paint the tree'' Lord Melbourne walked towards her and stood beside Victoria as she to looked across the room.

''I couldn't believe it when I saw the room, I told the staff it had to look good, but wasn't expecting such an effort''

''People want to please you'' He remarked.

The statement hurt her for some reason. ''Will you dance with me tomorrow night?'' She asked nervously.

He could see the pleading in her eyes ''Of course, I couldn't think of anyone better to dance with''

''You are very flattering sometimes Lord Melbourne'' Victoria looked up at him.

''Only sometimes ma'am?'' Victoria nodded.

''Not all the time''

''Im very sorry to hear that, I shall try to be more so in the future'' Victoria looked up. The white flower hanging from the ceiling caught her eye. He followed her train of sight before sighing deeply.

''Sometimes it is better not to follow tradition ma'am'' He warned.

''It is bad luck not to though Lord M, and I wish to follow the tradition'' He stepped away from her, feeling the regret in the pit of his stomach already.

''I cannot do that to you'' He began to speak carefully as he caught her eye and saw the disappointment creep up onto her face. ''You deserve so much better'' He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper.

''Want and need are two very different things'' She remarked ''You have hurt me once'' Victoria tried very hard to keep her voice under control.

He stepped towards her again ''You know that was not my intention ma'am, you must understand that''

Victoria nodded her head ''I do'' She paused ''doesn't make it any easier to forget though''

Lord Melbourne felt a stab in his chest then. The fear of hurting her. He had done it once, and he was not sure he could do it again and get away with it. Pleasing everybody else but himself and her didn't seem right.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed ''Believe me I know''

''I try my best to please everybody, but often do not please myself. I turned Albert away because I couldn't marry someone whom I didn't love, But I am worried, that I will never love anyone like I do…'' Victoria trailed off. He could hear the sadness laced in her voice even though she would not look at his face.

He stepped even closer to her, taking her hands in his own he traced his fingers over her soft skin, squeezing her hands silently in a comforting way that caused her to look up at him.

This time he could see the tears in her eyes. ''Forgive me, but I cannot hurt you again'' Victoria opened her mouth to speak but he cupped her chin in his hand causing her to go silent once more.

He didn't ask, and maybe he should have. But right then she wasn't a Queen she was a young woman. A woman that he wanted, just as much as she did him.

He traced his lips over hers, as delicately as possible. She surprised him when her hands planted on his chest and couldn't help but smile as she tip toed to reach him better. He didn't touch her other than holding her chin with his fingers. He pulled away after a moment and watched as her eyes fluttered open. She began to blush and could not keep a smile off her face. He smirked a little and stepped away a little.

''I should be going'' He coughed a little after speaking, realising that his voice was husky.

''I will see you tomorrow as planned?'' Victoria questioned, almost expecting him to avoid her now.

''Of course,'' He flashed a small smile and made his way towards the door. ''Good Night ma'am''

''Good Night, Lord M''

 _ **And another one. The chapters will not be any longer than this. I know that Big Ben isn't technically historically correct because it came later, after the fire in parliament but im not a historian so… Any way please leave a comment if you get a moment. It keeps me writing.**_


	4. Christmas Parties

**Christmas Parties**

 _ **Hope you all had a lovely Christmas. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.**_

Lord Melbourne felt his heart accelerate as his horse walked down the driveway towards the palace. The snow was thick against the drive which had been cleared for the carriages for tonight's dance.

The Priminister's mind had been completely pre-occupied since last night. His paperwork had been left, his Brandy untouched, and his letters remained blank. The Queen often occupied his mind, but he could not distract his mind from this one.

He dismounted his horse and handed the reins over to the groom awaiting his arrival.  
''Best not to un tack him, I believe Her Majesty wishes to ride out this morning'' Lord Melbourne pulled his gloves off whilst talking to the Groom whom proceeded to take the horse away.

Walking up the steps to the palace the double doors were opened to reveal the corridors and rooms buzzing with life. The staff were replacing the candles, dusting, cleaning the mirrors, decorating with yet more decorations, everything was in full swing ready for tonight's dance.

He did not reach the usual part of the palace where he would meet The Queen. The sound of piano chords echoing across the palace walls caught his attention and changed his route.  
Following the sound that sent utter joy into his ears he had a strong idea of who he was listening to. For nobody in the palace played as well as Victoria did. He remembered the duet that her and Albert had done, how his chest had ached as the couple began to work in harmony with each other. A pang of jealousy shot through him at the thought, before he reminded himself that Victoria had turned him down. Because despite him turning her away, she still for some reason, loved him.

He found his destination soon enough. Looking through the mirrored doors he saw his own reflection before quietly entering the room, sure enough, sat at the piano was Victoria, completely entranced by the music she was playing, she did not notice him enter. She was wearing a deep green dress exposing her bare shoulders and neck to his eyes. He watched the way her eyes did not reach the sheet of music sitting in front of her, she knew the music off by heart.

He sat himself in the empty chair closer to the piano and listened to the last few verses of music. As the piano fell silent Lord Melbourne began clapping into the silence causing her to half jump from her seat.  
''Gosh Lord M, you startled me'' She stood, causing him to do the same.

''I am sorry ma'am, I could not interrupt you, the music was to good''

''Well thank you, I do not get much time to play anymore, but when I do, I prefer to do it alone, less criticism around''

He suddenly felt out of place ''I shall remember that in future ma'am, it was not my intention to make you uncomfortable''

Victoria laughed as she stepped down from the platform and walked towards him ''No, not you! Don't be daft, it is mainly my family who I try to avoid playing for, and some guests'' She added quickly.

''Should we go riding now, or would you prefer to do the boxes first?'' Lord Melbourne asked, lifting the tone on his voice a little.

''No, let's go riding, I am in desperate need of some fresh air'' Victoria walked towards the glass paned doors, heading up the corridor he heard her cheerfully ask for her dressers to change her for riding.

Lord Melbourne found himself waiting outside the Queen's chambers as she was being dressed. The thought of her undressed crept its way into his mind. He dismissed the thought immediately, his mind was his own worst enemy, he often found himself drowning in thoughts and his imagination of her, she intrigued him in many ways, but the un touched desire he held for her occupied his mind at night, when he had nothing to distract his thought process. 

The doors opened, quickly snapping the Priminister out of his daydream. Victoria emerged in her riding attire, the long deep purple dress covered her body right from the top of her neck, down to her ankles, it dragged along the floor a touch, the perfect dress for riding he thought to himself.

Victoria smiled at Lord Melbourne and without saying a word she walked past him towards the doors.

''The snow just keeps on falling, it will take ages to melt away when the weather warms up''

''It is a tranquil part of London, the snow is still white and clean here, in the streets it is nothing but a brown sludge, paving the streets with dirt and then freezing over at night'' Lord Melbourne spoke from behind her, Victoria slowed up, so she could walk beside him as they approached the grooms holding their horses.

The pair rode in comfortable silence for a few moments, Victoria's horse was fresh in the chilled Decembers air as the pair crunched through the snow laying under the covered woods. The horse's warm breath showing up through the mornings sunshine.

''Are you looking forward to tonight?'' Victoria broke the silence.

''I believe I am ma'am it will make a nice change from the paperwork that lays on my table at home''

''You never were very organised Lord M, perhaps you should employ somebody to help you, seeing as you spend so much time helping me''

The Priminister laughed at the young woman who smiled at his reaction ''Surely you can employ somebody to help you with the paperwork your burdened with?'' He joked

''I do'' Victoria replied. ''Does it ever burden you? Helping me with such matters?''

''Of course not ma'am, why ever would you say such a thing?'' He sensed the mood had changed slightly.

''You spend many hours with me Lord M, I am selfish to think you do not have anything better to do, I am sure it is quite the opposite''

''I do not hold many responsibilities other than ones of the crown and ones of Parliament, which are pretty much connected anyway''

''Do you not tire of spending so much time with me?'' Victoria asked carefully.

The question baffled him, had he not made his feelings clear to her yesterday? ''Every time I see you my life becomes enriched a little bit more'' He replied matter of factly.

She did not answer, but she was sure her cheeks had gone scarlet.

==================================================================================

Victoria signed off her signature on the last document requiring her attention. She looked across the table at her Priminister who sat there watching her.

''That is it'' Victoria placed the signed paper on top of the stack of others, ready to pack again. ''For another day anyway''

''Indeed ma'am'' Lord Melbourne took hold of his tea, bringing it to his lips to take a sip of the hot liquid.

''I enjoyed our encounter in the ball room yesterday evening'' Victoria watched his eyes dart up to meet hers, he slowly placed the cup back in the saucer and stayed silent for a few seconds more.

''I should not have succumbed to my inclinations, I apologize''

''I am not a little girl Lord M, I wanted you to do it. It is tradition after all'' She smiled at him.

He remained calm and collected although his heart was pounding beneath his shirt. ''Well I am pleased, although you know nothing can become of this'' he warned her.

Victoria had anticipated he would behave like this, but she had sensed a hint of regret the last time he had turned her away, so, despite her age and inexperience she was determined to see just how much he wanted her, even if it risked hurting her heart again. ''Did you enjoy it?''

She was putting him in a corner, he was unsure of her route here. ''That is irrelevant ma'am, I merely followed your wish not to break tradition''

''That is besides the point, tradition or not, did you enjoy it?'' Victoria pressed.

She watched as he rubbed his hands together and looked visibly flustered at her question. Victoria let out a little laugh ''Its not a trick question Lord M, I was honest with you, im merely asking if you will be honest with me''

She watched his face soften as he hesitated his answer ''well… yes ...'' He finally answered.

Victoria tried to hide her glee, she ever so slightly enjoyed seeing him squirm. He endured such pressures at the house, and matters of the Monarchy but never seemed visibly disturbed, yet one, simple, personal question seemed to unease him. She had not seen this in him before. ''Good'' She replied simply ''That wasn't so hard was it''  
Lord Melbourne scoffed at Victoria's smug expression before smiling at her. ''I should probably go and make sure everything is under way for this evening'' Victoria stood, causing Lord Melbourne to do the same.

''Of course'' He could not ignore the tinge of sadness he felt at leaving for some reason.

''I shall see you tonight?'' Victoria walked over towards him. ''I look forward to dancing with you tonight'' Victoria clasped her hands in his and squeezed them for a moment.

''So am I ma'am'' He squeezed her hands gently before letting them go and watching her walk out of the room.

==================================================================================

Victoria could hear the guests arriving as the party got started. The palace looked divine, the staff had put up 2 more Christmas trees in the corridor leading towards the ball room. The voices of people echoed through the hall ways right to the Queen's chambers. 

Victoria stood waiting in her corset as Mrs Skerrett returned with her dress for the evening. Victoria looked up, wrapped in a robe to keep the cool air of the room off her bare skin.

''Thank you, I just did not desire the first dress'' Victoria eyed the new gown with admiration. ''This is much better''

Mrs Skerrett smiled as she began to dress the young woman for the evening.

Looking in the mirror as her diamond necklace with a single red ruby in the centre was placed on her exposed chest Victoria admired the efforts her dresser had put into her.

''Is everything to your liking ma'am?'' Mrs Skerrett looked at the Queens reactions as she admired herself standing in the mirror.

''Everything is perfect, tell me, do I look attractive?'' Victoria turned to the surprised dresser, they were of similar age, Victoria held similar tastes to her.

''You look beautiful ma'am, all eyes will be on you'' She smiled as she bowed and left the room. 

Victoria turned to look at herself in the mirror once more. She was wearing a deep blue dress with a white trim around the chest of the dress and at the waist. The trim was a floral pattern, which attracted the attention to the outline of her figure. The dress held no sleeves other than just below her shoulder. Her shoulders and neck, plus some of her cleavage was exposed, attracting the attention to the jewellery that was placed delicately on her neckline.

Victoria turned around at the sound of heels walking through the bare halls towards her private chambers. Her ladies approached and bowed respectively.

They admired her for a moment. ''Your Majesty, you look… stunning'' Emma found herself lost for words at how to describe the Queen's appearance.

''Thankyou Emma, is it very busy yet?''

''Yes ma'am, the palace is already flooded with people'' Emma replied.

''It is going to be a wonderful evening'' Harriett chipped in quickly.

The group of ladies turned as a knock on the door caught their attention. Victoria saw Lord Alfred walk in, on a silver platter sat a white orchid with a blue and purple spotted centre. Victoria admired the flower, picking it off delicately from the tray, she smiled as she breathed in the smell of the flower and walked towards the mirror.

Emma looked at Harriett knowingly, the pair shared a slightly worried expression but said nothing.

''Where do you think I should put it?'' Victoria held the flower up to the centre of her dress, it would sit in line with the necklace she was wearing, she then held it against her wrist, perhaps on its own would give it the attention it deserved. She found herself putting a lot of thought into the gift.

''It will look beautiful wherever you place it ma'am'' Harriett spoke up.

Victoria settled for pinning the flower to the centre of her dress neckline, knowing people would be drawn to the necklace when they viewed her.

==================================================================================

Everybody stood and went silent as Victoria walked into the ball room filled with people. The room emitted a warm and friendly feeling as all the ladies and men stood in their best attire.

The crowds bowed as Victoria passed them in her walk towards the centre of the room. Once she stopped the music began to slowly play in the background once more and one of Victoria's distant cousins came towards her.

''Your Majesty, may I have the honour?'' He held his hand out, Victoria could hear the German accent in his voice, it reminded her of Albert, who she was sure would not be here tonight, despite her mother insisting he was invited, which Victoria had done.

Victoria took hold of his hand and the couple headed into the centre of the room, the music became louder and the dancing begun.

''You look very glamourous tonight Your Majesty'' The young man remarked ''Are you trying to impress anybody in particular?''

She smiled at the Prince before politely replying. ''I am continuously trying to impress people. I may as well look good doing it'' Victoria grinned as the Prince laughed.

''Very true'' He said before separating from the Monarch to complete the second half of the dance.

The evening slipped by, drink was consumed, and food was devoured, people danced and chatted. Victoria stood sipping on another glass of champagne, her head felt fuzzy, her legs heavy. The warm liquid slipped through her veins as her eyes tried to find the person she had made all this effort for. 

Then her eyes found his, she was sure he to was looking for her, from across the room Victoria admired him, gosh he looked smart. He held a glass of brandy in his hand, people danced in between them, people chatted beside them, but neither took their eyes off each other.

Victoria found her thoughts drifting off with the alcohol she had consumed, she desired him, to be close to him, to feel his touch, she felt unsatisfied all of a sudden, and more importantly, way to far away from him. 

''Did you like the flowers ma'am?'' Victoria's head shot up as his voice was suddenly directly beside her. She clutched her glass tighter as her heart began to race.

''Yes'' Victoria placed her hand on the delicate flower, still pinned to her dress. ''It was a beautiful touch''

''You look as though you have enjoyed your evening, I am glad'' He continued before sipping his drink. 

''I have'' Her eyes shone as she looked across the room. ''It has been a welcomed change, having such a pleasant evening in the company of all my family and friends'' She went to take another sip at her drink before realising the glass was empty. Finding the servant, she took another full glass. Lord Melbourne eyed her carefully as she began to sway slightly.

''Are you sure you need anymore drink ma'am? You have consumed a good deal tonight'' His voice laced with concern

''Have you been watching me?'' Victoria giggled between sips at his shocked expression. ''Lighten up Lord M, have another drink yourself''

The Priminister shook his head quickly ''No, I am fine with this one'' Truthfully, he had already had one to many resulting in a fuzzy head and silly thoughts he was struggling to comprehend. ''Might I add, you look a vision tonight'' He spoke quietly, aware of the people that surrounded him. 

Victoria blushed at his comment.

They conversed in meaningless chatter as they finished their drinks. He could not help looking at the flower delicately placed on her dress, his fingers wanted to trace over it, smell it. He found his imagination running away with him.

''Excuse me ma'am'' Victoria turned to him but before she could say anything the man was walking towards the doors.

==================================================================================

His feet carried him into the cooler corridors of the palace, the quiet hum of the ball room grew more and more distant as he found a quiet spot and gathered his thoughts and breath. He must retire soon, the brandy was beginning to show. He had not danced with her yet, but then he wasn't sure if he would do much good now, neither would she given the circumstances.

''Are you alright Lord M'' Her voice surprised him as he shot round and faced her. 

''Yes… yes I am, sorry, I just needed a moment'' He admitted to her. She looked even more beautiful now, under the dim light of the corridor, away from the crowds he was able to really admire her form.

''You have not danced with me yet, you are not leaving are you?'' Victoria sounded worried.

''I shall have to retire soon I am afraid. The brandy is beginning to take its toll, I fear I shall sleep well tonight'' He chuckled slightly ''I think maybe we should dance another night, I do not wish to make a fool out of you''

Victoria placed her hands together at her waist ''Very well, I would not do your dancing much justice now, not at this hour'' She admitted quietly. ''I have something for you, would you come with me?'' 

Lord Melbourne looked surprised and slightly confused but nodded and walked beside the Queen anyway.

''I shall wait out here'' Lord Melbourne said as they approached the Queen's chambers.

''Whatever for? You have been in my private chambers many times''

''I think its best I stay out here, given the circumstances''

She suddenly found it difficult to breathe, or speak for that matter, Victoria nodded and walked into the chamber, closing the door behind her.

She may have been young and inexperienced, but she knew exactly why he had said that, was he struggling to resist temptation? Was it the drink? He must feel the connection she was feeling. Truthfully, she had not even thought of it in this way, especially him coming into her chambers, the two didn't click in her head, but the prospect was dreadfully exciting.

Victoria placed her hand on her bare chest, feeling the necklace under her palm she walked towards the draw in which his gift laid. Catching her breath, she grabbed the gift, wrapped in brown paper and walked back towards the doors.

The corridor was empty and very dim, few candles were lit due to the lack of activity in this wing tonight. Victoria saw the lighting was bad. Smiling she tilted her head and walked towards a bunch of candles that were alight.

She gave him the gift and watched him slowly unwrap the paper. The butterflies in her stomach became hard to ignore at the fear he would not like what she had gotten him.

His face changed as he saw the book. A book on orchids. ''It has every known Orchid in the world documented in that book. Im sure you know many of them, but each one has tips on how to grow and get the best out of the plant'' Victoria felt the need to explain as he continued to look at the front page.

''What a delightful gift, whatever have I done to deserve such a gift?'' His eyes met hers.

''For putting up with me'' She smiled warmly at him.

''I do not have anything for you'' He admitted with sorrow.

''Well… yes… you do'' Victoria's hand touched his over the book he was holding. His eyes met hers and he almost instantly realised what she was hinting at. He shook his head slowly, but found it impossible to step away from her.

''We cannot, you are under the influence of champagne… ma'am'' His voice was slow and deep, his eyes fluttered down to the flower on her chest before locking onto her lips, parted slightly as her breathing became shallow.

Victoria's heart was pounding within her chest, she could not let him walk away, her hand slipped up his chest and wound round his neck, slipping up onto her tip toes she felt his head dip down as she applied pressure to the back of his neck.

When her lips met his it was an entirely different feeling to the previous kiss. She felt him give way to his inclinations, it may have been the drink, but she wasn't going to resent it.

His lips parted against hers as he moved with her. It was tender and almost caring, but Victoria could feel something much darker being awoken from inside her. She felt his hand slip around her waist, much lower than the acceptable height. The contact surprised her causing her to sigh against his lips, he took advantage of her parted lips and continued to move his own against her, nipping and pulling at her mouth, awaking her senses.

He pulled away for a moment, her breathing was already heavier, he smiled a little before carefully placing the book on the cabinet beside the candle light.

He turned her round, both his hands on her now, he felt more insistent, like something had been awoken in him. He was no longer treating her like a delicate Queen but as woman, whom he desired as much as she did him.

Pushing against her Victoria found herself backed into the dark corner of the shadowed corridor. They became covered in the darkness, away from eyes for just a few moments.

She became trapped between him and the wall. Her hands found his shoulders before slipping beneath his coat and up against the shirt covering his back. His eyes locked onto hers as he tilted her head up with his fingers, sealing her mouth in a kiss once more.

Now this time it was different still. Victoria could feel his hunger, her skin tingled as he pressed his body against hers, his breathing became heavier as she met his hunger with her own. His hands slipped round her waist, pulling her bottom half away from the wall and flush against his body. He groaned against her mouth before parting his lips from her.  
He rested his head against hers as the couple found their breath again. His heart rate returned to its normal rhythm and his hands slipped from her waist.

Victoria did not feel satisfied, if anything she felt even worse than before. Her skin was on edge and her legs trembled. His body was still against hers, but she could not feel his skin, the fabric between them kept them apart from each other.

''I should leave now, this has gone far enough'' His voice was low, a husk was in his throat.

Victoria sighed, a mixture of disappointment, frustration and arousal crowded her head with the champagne. She nodded, unable to look into his eyes.

He could sense her frustration. ''If I had the choice, you know I would not leave'' His hand traced over the flower on her dress, his fingers lingering over her chest.

She may as well have been branded by his touch. She was unable to hold in her gasp. He smiled at her reaction. How sensitive she was, how would she bear any teasing? 

Bad thoughts flooded his head once more. No, he must leave now. He slowly parted from her. Picking up the book from the side he held it against his coat. 

''Thank you very much for the gift ma'am''

''Your very welcome. I shall see you tomorrow''

And with that The Priminister made for the exit.

 _ **Well, there you go, I was supposed to upload this before Christmas but never got the chance to proof read it. Hope you enjoyed... please leave a comment good or bad!**_


	5. Bravery

**Bravery**

 _ **Enjoy!**_

Victoria found herself very restless as the minutes drifted by on the clock. Her boxes were taking much longer than she would have liked.  
''How many more Lord M'' Victoria placed her head in her hands

''Not many ma'am'' He looked over to the pile of signed papers. ''You have done well to keep your attention for so long''

Her head shot up and she glared at him from over the table ''What is that supposed to mean?'' She almost snapped at him, but he merely smiled at her response.

''It can be difficult for the mind to focus after the consumption of alcohol, we both had our fair share last night'' He reminded her.

She did not need reminding, her head was pounding this morning when she awoke, the light coming through the windows was too much to bear. Luckily her head had cleared after some time. She could not remember most of the evening, but was finding it increasingly difficult to forget their encounter in the corridor. She had laid awake most of the night re living it, the feel of him against her, his lips on hers. It put her skin on edge just thinking about it. Victoria felt a shiver run up her spine as her stomach tingled with excitement.

''Are you alright ma'am'' Lord Melbourne looked across the table at her, when she met his gaze she felt a surge of panic that he may be able to read her thoughts.

''Yes'' Victoria lifted her head and took a deep breath, ''I am quite alright. So, are you finding it difficult to focus?'' She attempted to turn attention away from her.

He paused for a moment. ''You said the mind struggles to focus after too much alcohol, I remember you drinking a good deal as well'' Victoria pressed in an almost smug like manner.

''I remember the drink being my Dutch courage as they call it'' He replied plainly

Her breath caught in her throat and her back straightened. She was not expecting him to say that. It had been nearly 3 hours of simple conversation, avoiding the elephant in the room as they say, and although she had thought of little else she found it almost impossible to express her thoughts.

''Well then, maybe you should drink it more often'' Her eyes sparkled when he let out a laugh, placing his pen back to the papers in front of him.

They remained in comfortable silence for a few more moments, the noise of the crackling fire and scribbling of pens to the paper, the sound of the inkwell being dipped, and papers placed upon the mounting pile of completed work. Victoria could not pay attention, she felt restless, fidgety.

His ears homed in to a tapping, her foot was knocking the floor at a rather hard pace. The toe of her shoe continued to tap away. He lifted his head and saw her working still, reading and writing where needed. But her toe kept on insistently tapping at the damned floor.

He let out a loud sigh to try and get her attention. Nothing, he tapped his pen on the table, nothing. He picked up his papers and tapped them on the table, again nothing. Placing his hands in front of him on the table he looked at the Queen _. Damned that woman_.

''You are being very distracting'' He said to her from across the table. He let out another sigh as she looked at him and couldn't help but laugh. She knew what she was doing, why did he respond to it.

''I don't know what your talking about'' Resting her hand on her chin she slowly covered her mouth, but her smile crept above her hand.

''You know, discipline is a funny thing'' He lowered his head and raised his eyebrows before looking back down at his paper.

''I wouldn't know'' She stated. He could hear the tease in her voice.

''If you finish the boxes you can do something else'' He reminded her.

''What are you doing this afternoon?'' She looked back down at the papers and to his relief the tapping stopped.

''I have some matters to attend to at the house'' He replied morbidly. ''And you? I understand you have another public appearance today?''

''I am visiting the hospital this afternoon'' The seriousness of the situation changed her mood almost instantly.

''Will you be ok going in alone?'' He asked. Victoria signed another paper and placed it on top of the pile.

''I should think so'' But she did not sound overly convinced herself.

========================================================================================================

Victoria stepped out of the carriage. The crowds of people surrounding the hospital remained quiet. The mood was not like the previous public events. There was no cheer, or Christmas excitement that she had been enjoying. The silence echoed across London as she scanned the crowds before Lord Alfred ushered her into the Hospital.

The corridors were also silent. The nurses bowed as the Queen walked through the dimmed corridors before coming into a large room, beds up each side of the room and down the centre were filled with soldiers, some in much worse condition than others. All were silent. Only a few looked at the Queen as she entered the room.

Suddenly Victoria felt very alone. She turned to Lord Alfred who stood beside her. The young man smiled reassuringly at her but kept his respectful distance.

She could not say anything, she came here to pay her respects after all they were her soldiers out to defend their country. Victoria heard footsteps coming up the corridor, she stayed still and did not turn her back to the men laying in their beds.

''Good Afternoon Lord Alfred'' His voice, quiet and calm, like a beacon of light shining through a dark tunnel. Victoria closed her eyes, fighting back the tears and overwhelming emotion she was feeling.

Turning her head to the side she saw Lord Melbourne come to stand beside her, she glanced into his eyes quickly, he could see the tears brimming there, she smiled at him before looking away and walking down the space between the rows of beds.

Victoria looked at every man, observed every injury she could see, she saw every patient, some sleeping, some blind folded, some in too much pain to move or speak. The suffering hit her, she felt their pain.

One man sat up in his bed, his eyes found hers and he nodded his head silently towards the Queen, one leg and an arm were severely bandaged. His face etched with pain and sorrow, the weight of the world on his shoulders. Victoria did not want to think of what the young man had seen out there.

She walked to his bed side.  
''I trust the staff are looking after you well?'' Her voice was crackled, the tears did not flow however. She would not let them.

Lord Melbourne looked at the floor and closed his eyes. He should not have allowed her to come alone, guilt pushed through his heart.

Victoria held back a sob as the young man smiled and offered his hand to the Queen which she took.  
''I am receiving the best of care'' He replied quietly. ''And I am now within the best company a soldier of England could ask for'' His voice, he was so young.

''I cannot begin to imagine what you have bee-''

''Please'' The soldier interrupted her ''Forgive me for interrupting Your Majesty''

Victoria quickly shook her head and squeezed his hand allowing him to continue. ''What I have endured, what I have seen, was for my country, one who I am proud to serve, and if I could, I would do it all again'' He let out a breath as he finished, he was weak, but his positivity was strong. Victoria felt the tears run down her face. Hot against her cold cheeks as she let out half a sob.

''It has been an honour meeting you'' Victoria whispered. The young man looked taken back by her words. He smiled again and released her hand.

Victoria turned to Lord Melbourne who looked down at her, but she would not look up. ''Would you like to leave now ma'am?''

Victoria nodded her head quickly, still refusing to look at him and quickly walked towards the exit. As she reached the doors to the hospital Lord Melbourne handed her a handkerchief from his pocket. ''Stay here, I shall tell the guards to open your carriage, so you do not have to face the crowds''

Victoria had held it together on the way home from the hospital. Her ladies remained quiet as Victoria kept hold of the Handkerchief he had given her. Once she got to the palace she immediately headed towards her chambers. At the doors she stopped and faced her ladies.

=======================================================================================================

''I wish to be alone now'' She hardy recognised her own voice as she shut the doors and locked them. Finally, in the confines of her chambers with only her dog laying beside the fire she fell onto the divan and sobbed.

The light was beginning to fade outside, the snow had eased again, and the temperature was beginning to drop.  
Victoria had spent the remaining afternoon attending to things inside the palace, she had considered riding but lost the interest of riding alone again.

The visit to the hospital had shattered her, never had a royal duty held such an emotional hold over her, her body felt weary and heavy, her heart pined for the poor men stuck in war defending their country.

She had underestimated the task, it was not something she would do alone again.

She sourced his handkerchief again, holding it close to her chest she closed her eyes and thanked the heavens for sending him to her once again. She had felt terrible for not thanking him for his assistance and for leaving so abruptly.

A sudden thought crossed her mind, one that she didn't want to let go of. For the first time that afternoon she smiled and went to find her ladies.

''Emma'' Victoria called from the doorway. ''The group of ladies rose upon seeing the Queen, Emma smiled at her lifted mood and walked towards The Monarch.

''I am glad to see you in better spirits Your Majesty'' Emma smiled as she approached Victoria.

''I need to borrow your carriage, I simply must go and thank Lord Melbourne for joining me this afternoon, I could not of done it without him''

''It is getting late Your Majesty, are you sure the visit cannot wait till tomorrow? He will be at the Palace in the morning''

''No'' Victoria said firmly ''I simply must see him tonight, your carriage will attract less attention''

''What will your mother say ma'am, please do not put yourself in a disposition, perhaps I should attend with you?'' Emma's voice sounded worried, Victoria did partially understand her reasons, but was determined to go alone.

''Thank you, Emma, but my mother cannot say or do anything to change my mind, im sure you know that by now. I spend many hours alone with Lord Melbourne, tonight will be no different, people talk enough as it is, I am not doing anything differently, am I not?''

The question did not require an answer. ''Of course, you can borrow my carriage, I can send for it now. Perhaps you should change attire, or at least wear a veil to distract attention''

''Of course, I shall go and change now'' Victoria placed a hand on Emma's arm ''Thankyou'' And with that the Queen was off to change.

Melbourne sat in his chair beside the fire, picking up a glass of brandy sitting on top of a pile of unfinished paperwork he looked across the room at the empty space.

Christmas was a difficult time for him, and he had been thankful that Victoria had asked him to attend the public gatherings and private invitations, it would keep him busy and his mind off the negative thoughts that he associated the time of year with.

There was however a down side to spending so much time with her. He had seen her grow and blossom into the Queen that she now was, she was no longer as foolish and inexperienced as people made her out to be, she knew what she wanted, and he feared she would stop at nothing to get it.

 _Yet you don't seem to be doing much about it._ He reminded himself quickly. He took a long sip of the stiff drink, the warmth of it seeping through his body. Keeping her at arm's length was as hard for him as it was for her to understand why they could not be together as she so wished.

The temptation was proving hard to ignore. There was no doubt about that.

The doors opened to the study where he sat. The room was darker now, the fire showing most of the light, the dimming candles cast long shadows over the large room. He saw the servant walk into the study, he came over towards him.

''I am sorry to disturb you sir, but you have a visitor'' The servant looked uneased Lord Melbourne noticed.

He looked at his pocket watch ''Whoever would come over at this hour?'' He sat upright in his chair. ''Send them in''

He did not wish to see anyone tonight.

The figure walked in through the doorway, her dress was covered by a long cloak, her head concealed by a hood and a veil, the dimming room made it almost impossible to make out her features, but the heels tapping on the floor gave her away.  
The servant walked out of the room shutting the doors, once the click set confirming the doors were indeed shut the woman revealed herself.

Lord Melbourne jumped from his chair faster than a gun being fired. His back straightened as Victoria remained quiet, watching him try to tidy himself up.

''You need not bother with all that Lord M, I have seen you in disarray before'' Her voice was light and friendly, putting the man at ease a little.

''Forgive me Your Majesty, I was not expecting any company tonight'' He sighed before walking towards her. ''Let me take your coat''

As she shed her coat Lord Melbourne watched her walk over towards the fire, her dress slid across the tiled floor as her body swayed from side to side. The sleeves of her dress hugged her slender arms as she seated herself near the fire.

''It is awfully cold out there now'' Victoria braced her hands against the fire. After hanging up her coat Lord Melbourne walked over towards her and began to stoke up the fire. More heat emitted from the fire place. Backing up he seated himself in the chair beside her.

''What do I have the pleasure of seeing you tonight for?'' He looked across at her.

Victoria looked at him, he looked older in the light of the fire as it danced over his features, but there was something about it that made her more attracted to him. ''I wanted to say thank you, for coming to the hospital today. I do not think I could have managed it alone''

''I am glad I could have been assistance to you, although im sure you would have been able to''

''I froze when I saw them all. I felt an incredible surge of guilt. They are out there fighting for our country, one that I rule. I was worried they would resent me, for making them suffer. I felt responsible for their pain'' Victoria swallowed the lump in her throat.

He placed a hand over her own, bringing it out between the two chairs he squeezed it reassuringly. ''That is what makes you a good Queen, you take the responsibility of your subjects and your public and you hold it on a personal level, you feel what they feel, but they are out there in pride of this country, you did not command them to go, they wanted to''

A stray tear fell down her cheek, his voice was quiet and soft, a comforting tone ''The people outside, they did not say a word, they did not clap or cheer, they remained silent''

''They are paying their respects ma'am, that is of no reflection on you'' He reminded her gently

Victoria nodded her head as it began to clear in her mind ''I have spent most of the afternoon on my own, I never anticipated it to affect me so much. I do not think I have cried as much as I have done these last few hours''

''It only shows the amount of emotion you hold for your role. You carry so much, it must come out sometimes. Hiding your thoughts does not always do you good'' He said the last part as if he too had experienced this. Victoria watched his face change, as if his mind was swept away for a moment.

''Here'' She placed his handkerchief in his hands, she smiled at him. ''I would like to keep you company tonight, I told my ladies to inform the staff I was to retire early from the events of the day, I was going to return for dinner but decided I wasn't at all that hungry, that is if you don't mind of course''

He saw the uncertainty on her face. ''Of course, I don't mind, but I do not think it was wise of you to travel here alone at such an hour, if you were to be found out it would not do your reputation any good''

''Nobody realised I was gone, and I have ensured I was not recognisable'' She smiled.

He knew there was no point reminding her of his place in her life, and he found he didn't want to. ''Well in that case, I would be delighted to have your company''

Lord Melbourne had of course told his staff who the visitor was, he found he had no choice. He knew they would stay quiet about it, they were loyal to him if nothing else.

The servants had lit more candles in the room, providing more light. The fire was built up to provide more warmth and Lord Melbourne had sorted some of his papers out along with changing out of his robe into something a little more presentable, despite Victoria insisting he didn't need to. There was no hiding the fact that she was the Queen, he would never be able to be entirely ignorant of that.

''So, did you have a successful afternoon at the house?'' Victoria said before taking a sip of the sherry he had offered her.

''A tiresome one'' He sighed.

Victoria could tell the job took its toll sometimes. ''We do not have to talk about matters of state tonight, it is Christmas in 2 days'' She smiled at him.

''Yes, indeed it is, have you got everything ready for it?''

''I have yet to think of what to say on Christmas day when I meet the public outside the palace, I always struggle with things like that''

''I think you are much better at these things than you give yourself credit for''

''What like today you mean'' Victoria joked before looking back towards the fire.

''Bravery comes in many shapes and forms ma'am'' Lord Melbourne replied matter of factly.

''Do you ever have anything bad to say about me?'' Victoria asked

''I don't believe I do ma'am''  
Victoria smiled and looked back down at her glass.

The couple continued to talk and laugh. The mood was comfortable, no silence was uncomfortable and neither had to think of things to say. Victoria always found his company a huge comfort, one that nobody else seemed to be able to fulfil.

''Will you dance with me?'' The question surprised him somewhat.

''There is no music'' He replied, but Victoria could see his lips quirk in half a smile.

She stood from her seat causing him to do the same. Grabbing his hands in her own she stepped towards him, he felt her dress touch his legs, holding his hands still she looked up through her lashes at him.

He would never stop admiring her.

''Dance with me'' Victoria whispered.

What he did next surprised him a little even, but it surprised her even more.

With their hands still entwined at their sides he bent down his head and kissed her. It was neither delicate, nor passionate. Victoria melted into his frame almost instantly, parting her lips as she tried to deepen the kiss whilst still clutching his hands.

He parted from her, a small smile traced his lips as he looked down at her. ''Do you still wish to dance?''

Victoria almost pounced on him, her hands left his and wrapped around his neck as she pressed the full length of her body into him and kissed him again.

He could feel her passion, her hunger, her excitement this time, and it was not due to the drink.  
Here, in his home, in the privacy and within the loyalty of his staff he knew there was still a line that could not be crossed. But he wanted terribly to go just that little bit further.

Damned this determined woman.

He met her passion with his own, no longer wanting to hold back, or worrying about someone finding them out. For this evening, they were in private.

His lips worked with hers, mingling his own warm breath with her own, nibbling at her bottom lip, drawing himself into her just a little bit more. One hand slipped round her waist whilst the other held the back of her neck, tilting her head in an upward position he deepened the kiss, drawing her lips into his own.

Victoria found herself submissive to his knowledge on such matters, but she did not mind, she found it easy to mimic his actions. Her skin tingled in the confines of her clothing, she could feel his hand pressing into her waist holding her close to his body.  
He parted from her for a moment, looking down at her, she was breathing heavy now, her lips plump and a little swollen, parted, waiting for more. A blush began to creep its way down her neck to her chest.

He took hold of her hand and quietly lead her over to a divan seated beside the fire. Victoria seated herself and released his hand. He sat beside her.

Looking into her eyes for a moment he was expecting to see something along the lines of uncertainty, she was basically uneducated in such matters, and he feared she may doubt herself at some point of intimate encounters.

But he saw nothing but that of devotion and of trust. No matter what he told himself it was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that she did love him.

He cupped her head in his hand, tucking a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear. She looked into his eyes and rested her head in his offered palm. ''Whatever did I do to earn your affection in such a way?''

''Nothing, nothing but being yourself'' Victoria whispered. She cupped her face in his hands as he lowered his eyes back down to her lips.

He pulled her in for another kiss, holding her lips to his own as if she was holding the last breath he may breathe. Victoria parted from the embrace, catching her breath she tilted her head upwards, unintentionally exposing her neck to him.

Lord Melbourne took less than a second to place a series of delicate kisses to the Queens neck, a loud sigh escaped her lips and he felt her hand on the back of his head as he nipped and sucked a little harder, working his up to her ear lobe and jaw. A new wash of emotions rolled through her, jolts of pleasure shot down her spine, her skin was alive, tingling at every touch his skin met with hers.

She leaned back on the divan without even thinking of it, he had leaned against her, but she had not resisted or thought about his silent ask. Her body hummed as he pressed some of his weight onto her, leaning over her to seal her mouth in another, much hotter and more passionate kiss.

He knew they were getting carried away now, but he did not wish to stop. His body's reactions to hers drove him further and further towards her, he wanted to explore her, learn about her body, what lies under all the layers, and show her the pleasure she can experience.

Truthfully, he was running out of ideas on why its not possible to do that anymore, but the Priminister in him was screaming not to, for he would ruin her chance at marrying somebody worthy of her affections.

Never before had his mind been so distant from his heart.

Victoria shuffled underneath him, attempting to bring herself up further on the divan, her hips rolled against his own, eliciting an almost primal moan to seep from his lips.

''Victoria'' He almost groaned her name against her neck causing her to gasp and then moan. He moved away from her neck, working his way down once more he found himself kissing along her collar bone and as far as her dress would allow him. His hand crept up along the side of her body, feeling the bounds of her corset underneath the layers she wore.

He smiled against her skin, relishing in the way her body responded to such minuscule advances.

Her name, coming from his mouth. He had only said it once before, when she told him of how she wished to be called. It felt different, coming from him. Exciting. She revelled in it and hoped he would say it again.

Her hands rubbed down his back, as he slowed his ministrations before stopping completely. Slowly he rose from a top of her. He saw her face, confusion crept its way over her features as he helped her to sit up.

''I am sorry'' He began. Victoria could hear that rasp in his voice again, like the one she heard from him after their encounter in the palace corridors. ''We should stop now, it is getting late and the palace will not be entirely fooled by your absence''

Victoria smoothed her dress over and shuffled closer to him. ''One-day, Lord M, you will run out of excuses''

He laughed, he could hear the annoyance in her voice ''And I suppose until that day comes you will never be completely satisfied''

Suddenly Victoria felt very naïve ''How will I know?''

Lord Melbourne looked at her before realising what she meant. ''I would like to hope you will, experience or not''

Victoria nodded cupping her hands in her lap she stood from the divan causing him to do the same.

''You do not always have to rise after me you know, not under these circumstances''

''Force of habit'' He admitted.

Victoria clasped his hands in her own for a moment. Looking down at the pair intertwined with each other. The difference between them, hers young, un worked, and his older, aged, with the work lined across his fingers. The sight was intensely thought provoking.

Lord Melbourne brought her hands up to his mouth and without breaking her eye contact kissed them delicately.

''Goodnight. Victoria''

 _ **This chapter was exceedingly hard to write for me. The armed forces and what they do for our country will never get the justice it deserves. My brother lost his life in the armed forces a few years back and I know that he would not have done anything as he loved it so much! Please leave a comment, always good to hear thoughts.**_


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